Appearance jokes

Your forehead is so big, Megamind thought he was your long lost sibling.

So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.

When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.

Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.

Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Yo mama is so ugly, she gave Michael Myers nightmares.