Appearance jokes

When you look in the mirror, the mirror cracks.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.

He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"

"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.

Wife said, "Thank God he didn’t ask about the other one!"

I am a fat girl.

Your forehead is so big you could land a plane on it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.

Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.

Yo mama so ugly, when she looks in a mirror, it says, "Viewer discretion advised!"

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

She looked at me surprised.

(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)

Girls with the name Zoe have big foreheads.

You’re so ugly, I can see why your dad left now.

Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

Your forehead is so big that we may as well call it a fivehead.