Appearance jokes

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.

Your fat!

Want to hear a joke?

Your face.

You are so skinny that the only difference between you and a leaf is color.

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!

Trump is so orange that he makes the Oompa Loompas look white.

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.

Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.

Your hairline goes so far back that cars on a highway don't know which way to turn.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Yo mama so hairy, she braids her eyebrows.