Appearance jokes

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

"Knock knock?"

"Mustache."

"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"

Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!

Your hairline's so far back, I use it as a ruler to measure things.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

My heart is dead because of you.

Actually, not because of you... because of your face.

I got a bowl of rice that you're formed like, an ice cube.

You're so ugly!

Your hairline was playing Sorry!

Pulled the wrong card and moved back five spaces.

You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.

You're so ugly, you have trick-or-treat on the phone!

Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.

You're so skinny, death mistook you for dead.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

I used to have a girlfriend who would argue with me a lot for no reason. I look at her feet and say to her, "Here is £15, give yourself a foot pedicure, then come back to me. It clearly shows you have man feet. You are a woman; you should have woman feet. No wonder you boss me around too much as if you're the man of the house."

Boy, look at your hair. It be looking like the McDonald's symbol.

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

Does that dick match that forehead? 👀

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.