Appearance jokes

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.

Your nan's bald.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.

I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

Your hairline is more bent than your gender.

The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.

The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.

Roses are dead. violets are dying. Outside I'm smiling. Inside I'm crying.