Appearance jokes

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

Yo momma so short... You can see her feet on her driver's license photo!

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.

Michael Jackson's nose is so steep, it can be a ski ramp.

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought the Grinch was ugly until I saw you.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Which book takes an extreme turn and has an incredible plot twist?

- The math book. Suddenly letters appear in the calculations...

Bro, your hairline is still missing. Even Dora the Explorer can't discover it!

You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.

Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.