Appearance jokes
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
Memes
Bro looks like his mom dropped him when he was a new born
Your hairline's so far back, even Andrew Tate rejected it.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Your mama is so ugly! Ghostface from Scream won't even make that call!
Your hairline is so crooked that it made Will Smith feel straight.
Sometimes I feel ugly, then remember I have a brother, then I feel better.
Your hairline goes so far back that even your mom couldnβt see it.
Your mama is so ugly, she summoned Bloody Mary.
She handed her an application through the mirror.
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Your hairline's so far back even Bill Nye the Science Guy couldn't use photosynthesis to fix it.
Bob the builder took one look at you and said, "Nah, I canβt fix that!"
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked in a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
You're so ugly you make the blind kids cry ππ
Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.
Yo mama so fat, everyday people kept asking: "Are you pregnant?"
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.