Appearance jokes

Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.

-E-

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.

Your forehead is so big even Mega Mind knew you were smarter.

What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

What’s the difference between your dad and your hairline?

Nothing, they both ran off.

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

Today when I looked in the mirror, I stopped and simply said: "It's ok, what's inside matters the most, right?"

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Your face is a joke.

Why does Donald Trump love little boys?

Because his hands look massive when he’s holding their tiny little cocks.

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.

I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"

I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Your nan's bald.

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

Michael Jackson.

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?

Their knees.

I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;

What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧