Appearance jokes

How do you check that a rabbit is old?

You check how many gray hares it has.

Yo hairline be lookin' like Elmo's toe fungus.

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.

One day a mom who looked like a pig broke the car down.

"Little John, she is fat." How? He said, "Like a pig."

You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.

Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a haunted house......

And came back out with a job application, then that ran away *CAUSE SHE'S A UGLY FUCK*

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Yo mama is so ugly, when she tried to join an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Your sister is so ugly, she made Hello Kitty say goodbye.

You're fat. Don't sugar coat it because you would probably eat that, too.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

Yo mama so ugly, she looked in the mirror and it broke.