Answer jokes

A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

Why did the bee go to the doctors?

Answer: Because he had hives.

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?

Because his answers were netherrite.

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

What looks like half a cat?

The other half.

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?

Answer: Because he sucks!

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

Me: "I came home laughing."

Parents: "What's wrong?"

Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

Parents: "What is it?"

Me: "Who farted?"