Answer jokes

What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?

Answer: Putin, put out!

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

What do you call a cow with no legs?

(Answer) Ground beef.

Sorry for a bad joke.

When do Americans answer their door?

Once freedom rings! ❤️🤍💙

Why does an orphan hate the internet?

Because he's always on the homepage.

What looks like half a cat?

The other half.

I asked, "Mom, what's that in the sky?"

Mom replied with, "That's your father."

OK, OK, what's up with the fake Gwens? I am going to use a test to see who is real or not.

The real Gwen will know this. When did I come onto this website? Next question, what is my real name, and do I go on cursing rampages? Only the real Gwen can complete this test with the right answers.

Why did the wither skeleton fail his test?

Because his answers were netherrite.

What's the definition of a bastard?

Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!

Can you tell me the real answer to this joke?

What do you call a drone that takes the long way around?

What do you call a guy with a sandwich?

A guy with a sandwich.

I told my friend that there was a tree. On that tree, there were four black chickens. I asked how many beaks do the chickens have. He said four.

Then I said there was a white cat. How many teeth does it have? He couldn't answer, so I said, "Looks like you know more about black cocks than white pussy."

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."

By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.

Enjoy!

Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?

A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.

What is black and white and red all over?

Answer: A newspaper.

That is what my 3-year-old told me.

I never knew what my dad's job was.

One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"

My dad answered...

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.