Answer

Answer jokes

Wife

    • A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

    The husband answers her: Pretty.

    The wife responds: Thank yo-

    The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

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    • Tree

    • Who's the closest family member to Paul Walker?

    Answer: The tree.

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    • Chicken

    • Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Answer:

    The man said, "He's going to rape the people on the side of the road."

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    • Answer memes

    Paint

    • Hi guys, I'm back! So I have a question for you. What is red and smells like blue paint? Type in comments what you came up with.

    Abortion

    • A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.

    When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"

    God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."

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    • Human Nature

    • What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

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    • Custody

    • A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

    Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

    Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

    Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

    Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

    The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"

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    • Impeachment

    • Why won't Trump be subject to impeachment?

    Answer: Because Republicans in Congress insist that every baby be brought to full term!

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    • Teeth

    • What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.

    Man

    • Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

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    • Teacher

    • A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"

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