New Answer Jokes - Page 3 - Worst Jokes Ever

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

"Aye, matey."

Q: What is 9 + 11?

A: 9/11

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.

He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.

The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.

On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"

Did you hear about the guy that posts all of the "Hairline Jokes"?

Answer: Yeah, he's a COMPLETE IDIOT!

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

Why was the ant so smart? Because it always knew the answer.

Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?

A: I'd hit that.

I’m not religious, but you’re the answer to all of my prayers.

I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...

She said nothing.

What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?

Their INCESTors!

You know what's REALLY "Ironic"?

Answer:

These REALLY ARE the "Worst Jokes" I've ever heard!

What do you do when your cat's not home?

Answer: You play with your neighbor's pussy.

Where would the next Formula race happen?

Answer: On your flat chest.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

Today my biology teacher asked me what's commonly found in a cell......... And apparently "black people" isn't the right answer.

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"

Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."

Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."

Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.

Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"

The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"