How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Answer Jokes
What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
Answer: Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?
Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Question: Did you know that "diarrhea" is hereditary?
Answer: It "runs" in your jeans!
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song?
Answer: Crimea River!
Question: Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism?
Answer: Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Question: Why was "6" scared?
Answer: Because "7" ate "9"!
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
I asked the Titanic an icebreaker question.
It couldn't answer.
What the when what yeah what yeah then uh huh?
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
What’s a vacuum cleaner’s favorite plant?
Answer: SUCCulent
What do you find at the end of a rainbow?
Answer: W.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
Answer: A boomerang, because it is the only thing that comes back to them.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.
