ANS jokes
Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.
Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?
A. Nothing, they both die at ten.
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
He doesn’t know where home is.
An orphan can never get a call home from school because they don’t have a home to call.
If Jeffy goes to an orphanage, he will die. How is he supposed to move?
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What do you call an orphan? Batman.
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"
Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"
Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"
Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"
"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."
A young family moved into a house next to a vacant lot.
One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her $10 "pay" to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh, my goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will, if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the fucking sheet rock!"
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
What do you call an ear that's dead? Deaf. Hahaha! Oh wait...