ANS jokes

Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.

Now you should let your imagination work... imagine naked Jesus with an erection... and nail holes in his hands...

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

What does an Asian call a penis? A wong.

What does an Asian do with its legs? It wok.

The past, the present, and the future were having an argument. It was tense.

God better hope they got an elevator to Heaven.

What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast.

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.

The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!

The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”

What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.

What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

I had a disability where I kept pronouncing my "g" as an "r", so one day, I said I liked grapes. Of course, I pronounced it "I like rapes." I was kicked out of preschool.

When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

What do you call an Arab flying a plane?

A pilot.

You racist fuck!

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents?

I love how all these jokes about different accidents have happened, but why isn't anyone writing about how much of an accident we all were?

Lady: I am going to come to your house.

Man: Ok.

An hour later, the lady is at the man's house. The man meets her outside of the house.

Man: You are going to cum to my house!

And then he fucks her.

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

"Rapeboat" has six fingers on each hand and one big eyebrow. Signs of inbreeding.