ANS jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Why is there only 363 days in an orphan calendar? Because they don't have Mother's Day or Father's Day.
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
This boy heard from a friend that if you tell an adult, "I know the whole truth," they will be all weird. So he went home and told his mom, "I know the whole truth," and she gave him $20 and said to keep quiet.
Pleased, when his dad got home, he said, "I know the whole truth," and his dad gave him $40 and said, "Don't tell Mom." Really pleased, he met the mailman the next day and said, "I know the whole truth." Then the mailman got down on his knee, opened his arms, and said, "Come to daddy."
There was a house with a three-story building.
The first one had Mexicans.
The second one had Africans.
The third one had white people.
An earthquake came.
But who did survive?
The white family because they were at work.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
My dog is pregnant. I'm gonna be a... I don't know?
Ohhh, an owner.
What is an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang.
I hope you forget your password to something, only to send something to an email that you also forgot the password to.
Do you know what is good about being an orphan?
Every candy bar is family sized.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?
I'll give you an A because you're awesome.
B because you're beautiful.
A C because you're caring.
And I'll give you this D cuz you deserve it.
What is an orphan's favorite song?
"Home."
Yesterday I asked an emo girl if she's jealous when her phone dies.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
So, I was at the gas station drinking a Slurpee when I heard an old lady start talking to me. She says, "Hey, can you check my balance?" so she could buy a chocolate bar.
So, I pushed her over and said, "Not much."