ANS jokes
A Snorlax was in a bar, and he was drinking beer when an Eevee and a Rockruff hopped onto a stool. The Eevee ordered an oran berry special for the both of them.
Snorlax: Y'all make the perfect couple.
Random Zorua: Dragonite, is it just an illusion, or is that Snorlax fatter than this region?
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
It's fucked up how people make these jokes, and when orphans read them, it makes them feel worse about themselves. I should know, I'm an orphan.
Your forehead is so big, I can write an essay on it.
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.
"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."
And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"
The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
For some sick DRIZZLE on his tracks.
I was literally cradlesnatched as a child.
Yeah, in the arms of an older woman experiencing my first rounds of motorboating.
You'd think with Jason being a pastor's kid, his parents would have gotten him Invisalign.
And an exorcism.
What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?
Family Guy.
Harder than a diamond in an ice storm.
When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.