ANS jokes
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
Why does an orphan play GTA?
To get wanted.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
What hits the ground first, an apple or an emo girl?
The rope would catch her.
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
If you're ever bored, just punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
What do you call an emo with no breasts? A cutting board.
Want to know what I do in my freetime?
Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?
What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?
A white elephant.
What is an orphan’s favorite beer?
Fosters.
An American and a Russian are talking. The American says, "We in America have the best democracy. We can stand in front of the White House and shout with impunity: \"The American President is a moron!\""
"We can do that too," says the Russian, walking with the American to the Kremlin and shouting: "The American President is a moron!"
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
My favorite toast for parties: May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
An emo kid walked to me holding a rope, and asked: "Do you want to join my family tree?"
Say "beans" fast three times.
Now you’re an idiot.