ANS jokes
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?
Ask an orphan.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
What would an orphan call a family picture? A self-ie.
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
What is missing when an orphan buys a laptop?
The home screen.
When does a kid become an orphan?
When the parents leave.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
What's an orphan's least favorite theme song? The Barney theme song.
What is the difference between an orphan and a homeless person? Nothing, haha.
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
What’s an orphan’s least favorite shoe?
Fuller House😂
"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.
Ask an orphan this: "What's the difference between cancer and your dad? Cancer comes back!"
What's the difference between an orphan's dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.