ANS jokes
How do you blind an Asian?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What’s the first thing you should do if an epileptic is having a seizure in the bathtub?
Throw in your dirty laundry!
I dated a girl, and I didn’t know she was previously in an abusive relationship.
I thought she just REALLY hated high-fives.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?