ANS jokes
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
Depends.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up like an altar boy.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center?
Because it's an easy target.
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
Does a midget count as an orphan?
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hitler blew an 11 country lead, During World War 2.