ANS jokes
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
Yo mama so fat that John Cena couldn’t get her down with an Attitude Adjustment!
How to make an orphan die?
Tell them to yell until their folks come home.
I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
What do you call an autistic person? Names.
I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.
I saw a kid sitting on the side and asked if he was an orphan, “what gave me away?” “Well, your parents, for a start.”
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
Q. How does an ISIS terrorist practice safe sex?
A. He marks the camels that kick.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What will happen if orphans use an iPhone?
They can't find the home button.
What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.T.?
E.T. eventually went home!
What do you call an American house?
A gun safe.