ANS jokes
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
What do you call a black man on the moon?
An astronaut.
We asked our teacher many times for an atlas, and he said, "At last, you can have one!"
Yo mama is so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"