ANS jokes
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
What happens if an Asian walks into a wall with a boner?
They hit their nose on the wall.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
Chuck Norris can pick an apple from an orange tree and make the best lemonade you've ever tasted.
What's the difference between a 14-year-old boy and an 8-year-old boy?
The 14-year-old is on top, the 8-year-old is on the bottom.
You're so small you went surfing on an ice lolly!