ANS jokes
The Trump cocktail. Take a large glass and fill it with an ounce of everything behind the bar. Top it with whipped cream and a cherry. Now for the hard part: finding a Mexican to pay for it.
What do you call an Asian? A-chan.
Never trust an atom; they make up everything.
A rooster ran across the border from the USA to Canada and laid an egg. Which country does that egg belong to?
Roosters don't lay eggs.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
What is the difference between Dray Dray and an overrated footballer called Pogba?
When someone has an imaginary friend, you call them weird and crazy.
But when a group of people have an imaginary friend, you call it religion. :)
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus:] Hey, now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play Hey, now, you're a Rock Star, get the show on, get paid. And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now wait 'til you get older. But the meteor men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture.
The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored.
[Chorus 2x]
Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas. I need to get myself away from this place. I said yep, what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change.
Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb.
So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow.
[Chorus]
And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.