Anime jokes
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu? Pikachu, I choose you!
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
Animals are just... so hot!
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
I'd hit you, but I don't want to go to jail for animal abuse.
What animal can not be trusted?
A lion 🦁.
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
If Sakura's head looks like earth, then her hairline has to look like the Milky Way.
What does Chainsaw Man's chainsaw say as he chases a black person?
"Runnnnigernigernigerniger..."
Your hairline is so far back that if you wore yellow, people would think you were One Punch Man.
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.
How many animals can you fit in a pair of underpants?
A. A cock and a few hairs (hares).