Animal jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.