Animal jokes
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
People say killing two birds with one stone is a good thing, but when I did it, people just looked horrified.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!