What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Animal Jokes
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
What do you call two monkeys who share the same Amazon account? Prime mates.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lion 🦁.
Lion who?
Lion again, aren't you?
My dad’s nickname for me is ‘Tiger’.
Now, my wrists look like a tiger.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
Where do otters come from? Otter space.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, but laughing at YOU!
Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?
That's what happened to my dog.
What do you call a paralyzed turtle?
Shell shocked.
What did the cow and bull do for their first date? - Dinner and a Moovie.
