Animal jokes
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
Memes
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
I like turtles.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!