Animal jokes
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Memes
What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?
It's a deady bear.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
I like turtles.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!