Animal jokes
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Memes
*electric noises*
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
I like turtles.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."