Animal jokes
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Memes
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
I like turtles.
What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.