Animal jokes
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
Memes
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
I like turtles.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.