Animal jokes
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.