Animal jokes
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What is Hitler's favorite animal?
A dolphin.
I saw a monkey outside of school and said, "Look, a monkey!" I got expelled the next day.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?
Because they use honeycombs.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨