Animal jokes
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup? A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.
With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.
Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.
Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.
A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.
With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.
Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.
But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.
And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
Q: What do you call a cat living with a vet? A: A dead, shrivelled up cat on her death bed that is attached to their owner.
Isn't It Purrfect!
Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)
I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
Why didn’t the cat cross the road?
Answer: Because it’s a scaredy-cat.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs? Lean beef.
What kind of bear has no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What type of fish goes best with peanut butter?
Jellyfish!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
A polar bear walks into a bar, asks the barman, “A pint of lager................. and a packet of crisps.”
The barman asks, “Why the large pause?”