Animal jokes

What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"

Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.

What is a frog's favorite drink?

Croaka-cola!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was running from you, hehe.

The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.

What is a little zombie's favorite stuffed animal?

It's a deady bear.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮‍💨

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.

If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.

(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)

What do tigers wear in the winter?

A striped sweater.

I like turtles.

What's a penguin's favorite relative?

Aunt Arctic.

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

Why was the dog stealing shingles?

He wanted to be a woofer.

We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.

Q: What do you call a cranky cow?

A: Moooooooody.

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.