Animal jokes
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
What did the bee say after the execution? "The criminal has been beeheaded!"
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
What happened to the frog that partied illegally?
He got TOAD away!
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
Memes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because KFC was offering free seeds.
If you had the strength of an ant, you could lift the pyramid of Giza.
(Ants can lift items 20x their weight.)
What's a penguin's favorite relative?
Aunt Arctic.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮💨
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do tigers wear in the winter?
A striped sweater.
I like turtles.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.