Animal

Animal jokes

Plastic

What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?

They both choke on plastic.

Dog

Why was the dog stealing shingles?

He wanted to be a woofer.

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side. Y'all knew this one, fr.

Memes

Leash

I told her she needed to put her dog on a leash, and her boyfriend is still on a leash to this day. 😮‍💨

Banana

Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.

Lobster

What's the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.

Cow

A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?

On the COWch (couch).

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  • Sex

    Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

    Man: "Yes!"

    Reporter: "Name?"

    Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

    Reporter: "Sex?"

    Man: "Three to five times a week."

    Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

    Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

    Reporter: "Holy cow!"

    Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

    Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

    Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

    Reporter: "Oh dear!"

    Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

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