Animal jokes
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Rat
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
Q: What do gay horses say?
A: "Geigh!"
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
Yooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Him: I work with animals all day.
Her: Awwww what do you do?
Him: I'm a pornstar.
Do fish have tits?
Fish tits.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
What's the difference between a puppy and an orphan?
Puppies get adopted.
Why do cat orphans watch sci-fi movies?
Because they won't understand what the mother ship is.
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leo is more useless than a HEDGEHOG with ALOPECIA.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
How can you help a llama on holiday? Alpaca your bags.
Why do birds fly upside down over Poland?
There's nothing worth shitting on.
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What da dog doin'?