Animal jokes
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
Your not actually cute so shhhhh
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
A paradigm are so bad, go away from fast and fast and faster than a rabbit. Once upon a time there was a rabbit who teased a tortoise. The tortoise challenged the rabbit to a race. The race began and the rabbit ran fast as the tortoise walked slow. The rabbit thought the tortoise could not come here so slow, so he decided to take a nap. As he took a nap, the tortoise walked past through him and soon the rabbit woke. He ran as fast as he could, but when he came to the end, the rabbit saw the tortoise and then the rabbit never teased the tortoise again.
A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.
And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"
And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."