Animal jokes
Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
Mooooooo my secret is that it's pasture bedtime, but not pasture bedtime!
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
What is red and green and goes 100 miles per hour?
A frog in a blender.
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish? A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To visit the ugly witch's house.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
The chicken!
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs? Lean beef.
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!