Animal jokes
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
You're so bald, when you wear a turtleneck, you look like one!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
MY 4 little kittens
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
What is a dog?
A pet.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
Why do cows have big [udders]? Because they have big balls.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?