Animal jokes
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Which part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.