Animal jokes
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Where do Eagles send their children to study?
The Alpha birds.
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
What did the fish say when he got to the dam?
"Dam water."
"Dam!"
Why does this stingray's wife can't stop babbling?
'Cause she can't watch her mouth.
Your not actually cute so shhhhh
Why did the emu cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off. Yeah, I hate myself, man.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
Where do rabbits take baths and wash their asses?
Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?
What's the difference between an orphan and a dog?
A dog gets adopted.
I saw a cat. It said, "Raisin" when he saw a nut. Hahaha, I am a crappy joker. Put me in the nerd club.
What type of bird does not have feathers on itself?
A bald eagle.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, "What do you think about that mad cow disease?"
The other replies, "Well I don't have to worry about it. You're talking to a telephone pole."
Which part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the “utter” side.