Animal jokes
Why do animators like Christianity?
Because Jesus was the one who invented T-Pose.
Why shouldn't you get in a fight with a dinosaur?
You'll get jur ass kicked.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
What's a chicken's deadliest day?
Friday.
Bird Box.
What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What do you call a cow with no toes?
Lac-toes intolerant.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money, and he asks the bartender what's up with that jar of money.
Bartender says you gotta do 3 tasks. He takes the shot of Jack, and the customer says, "What are the tasks?" He says, "The 1st one is, well the 1st 1 is, I got about a 12' gator in the back that's got a bad tooth, and you gotta pull it." He says, "All right, what's the 2nd 1?" He said, "I got a big old girl upstairs that ain't had no loving in a long time, you gotta make her smile." He takes another shot of Jack. He said, "All right, what's the 3rd 1?" He said, "You see that horse outside, you gotta make him laugh and cry."
Guy goes upstairs, goes out back, comes out to the front, comes back in. The other customer said, "Give him the jar." The guy says, "I took care of that lady's tooth, and I made that alligator smile."
"Well how'd you make the horse laugh?" he said. "Easy, I told him I had a bigger deck then him."
Bartender says, "How did you make him cry?" He said, "Easy, I showed him."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was depressed.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"
I love you, Explain Bear. Please bear my children.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
What’s the difference between a cat and a dog? It’s easier to throw a cat against the wall.
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."