Animal jokes
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
You look like a cat.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
I left my dog at home once, and when I came home it was a mess. Let's just say I was in a RUFF situation.
Where do kittens go on a field trip?
The meowseum.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What time do dogs 🐕 get a walk done ✅?
Time to walk with your dog 🐶!
My sis a fat cow.
How does a cow do math?
With a cow-culator!