Animal jokes
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
Why did the baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.
Person: "My pony is crazy; it's always horsing around."
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
Memes
Your not actually cute so shhhhh
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Nobody: The crickets in the back: Talk talk talk.
Me: JOE MAMA OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
They're blooming a gay chicken.
"Hump a vow, it makes a cow."
I smell like skunk.
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.