Animal jokes
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
I do not understand why people aren't scared of spiders. I mean, like they have 87447924872320984623879480327678987388025873289576348097923408370983728 legs and 23864867759578590893839420387424763478923748394783294327428748243264278 eyes.
I saw a spider in my room. YOU THINK I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THERE?????????
Nope. I'm moving to Japan.
KONNICHIWA
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
My girlfriend said to me, "Dear, I think you have hit an animal, there's blood and dents all over the bonnet."
I said, "No, love, I'm not waiting for a Black Lives Matter rally."
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Anything you want; it won't chase you.
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
I'm a fat cow.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, you look like a donkey, and smell like one, too.
I named my dog "5 miles," so now I can tell people I walk "5 miles" everyday. 😏😎
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea.
Bonus joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appétit!
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
What goes zzub-zzub?
A bee flying backwards.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.