Animal

Animal jokes

Donkey

    • A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

  • 1

    • Zoo

    • Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

  • 0

    • Cow

    • A lady from the city and her traveling companion were riding the train through Vermont when she noticed some cows. "What a cute bunch of cows!" she remarked.

    "Not a bunch, a herd," her friend replied.

    "Heard of what?"

    "Herd of cows."

    "Of course I've heard of cows."

    "No, a cow herd."

    "What do I care what a cow heard? I have no secrets to keep from a cow!"

  • 0
    • Animal memes

    Inch

    • A fly is 6 inches above water, and a fish sees it and it leaps out and gets the fly. Then a bear grabs the fish and eats it. Then a hunter shot the bear, and a mouse saw some crackers and then leaped on the cracker and ate it. Then a cat runs down to get the mouse, trips, and falls into the water, and that's the story of how six inches can get a pussy wet.

  • 2

    • Rabbit

    • So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.

    He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.

    Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"

    The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."

    The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.

    So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.

  • 0

    • Poop

    • Squirrel: I got a joke.

    Dog: What the hell is it?

    Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.