Animal jokes
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What do you get when you put a vest on an alligator?
An investigator!
"Police control! Have you been drinking?"
"Go Pikachu! Thunder Clap!"
"Did you just throw a hamster at my head?"
Memes
why does it actually scare me ;-;
What do you call a dead polar bear?
Anything, they can't hear you!
What do you call a helicopter, elephant, and rhino?
Hellephino (Hell if I know)
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
Why can't you do a Math test in the zoo?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
What's a cheetah's fav food?
Fast food!
Why do cheetahs always cheat?
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?
You can’t milk a dead cow for 20 years.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
How do cows get their milk? The moo market.
What do you call a pig that does Karate?
Why is the cheetah super good at hide and seek tag? Because he was too fast!
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?