Animal jokes
Why are bees' hair sticky?
Because they use honeycombs!
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
Why did the cow knock over Johnny?
Because the cow felt like to dumb.
Why do cows have babies?
They moo-ved together.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
God is you... If you have a dog
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
What did the buffalo say to the buffalo's son?
"Bi-son."
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because why not?
My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings... he is being very brave about it though... he is totally unflappable.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Q: How would a chicken leave?
A: Through the exit.
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
What do you call a lion as a baby?
Cocota
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.