Animal jokes

What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?

Anarexic.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

Answer:

To prove it wasn't chicken!

What do you call a goldfish that got third place? A bronze fish.

Susie: Ling Ling, truth or dare?

Ling Ling: Truth.

Susie: What happened to Stacie's dog?

Ling Ling: Dare.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to KFC.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Worst joke ever.

Did you hear about the new doggy condos?

Apparently they are now releasing!

Why are monkeys funny? Because they look weird.

Why did the crows form a charity?

Because it's all for good caws!

DOGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.

Why did the chicken cross the plane to get to the other skyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lloooooooooooooooooooool?

Why would you never donate to crabs?

Because they're shellfish!

Where did the cows go to a date?

To the moo-vies!

How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?

Get it a Rolex!

What’s the cow's favorite place to go? The moovies!

I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.

This is how animals were named.

"Bye Son." *cuts call*. What are we talking about?

"Bison. Perfect."

What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.