Animal

Animal jokes

Furry

    • I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

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    • Cat

    • This is how big cats were named.

    "I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."

    "Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."

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    • Animal memes

    Ex

    • Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

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    • Bee

    • According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.

    Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.

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    • Grasshopper

    • A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

    The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

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    • Wife

    • What's the difference between a man's wife and his dog?

    Lock them both in the trunk for three hours and see which is happy to see you when you open it.

    Cock

    • A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.

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