Animal jokes
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
How does a donkey open a door?
With a don-key.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the other site? Ah hah hah hah hah!
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.
She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
What do nerds and chicks have in common? They both have four eyes.
Memes
Me everyday
Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
What do you call a gay Megalodon?
Magalogay.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
What animal howls at the moon and eats cement?
If you guessed wolf, you're right! I threw in the cement to make it hard.
What do you call a cow who's personality is down to Earth?
Ground beef.
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.