Animal jokes
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb.
What is a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!!!!!
What do fish smoke? A puffer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be the dolphin, you can be the jellyfish.
Yo momma's so fat, when she bought a fur coat, all animals went extinct.
Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
God creates dog.
God: "You are man's best friend."
Dog: "That's pretty sexist."
God: "No, man as in- You know what, FUCK IT! You can't speak!"
Dog: "....."
God: "And chocolate kills you!"
Dog: "🐶"
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
A panda walks into a restaurant, orders some food, and eats it. Once he was done, he shoots the waiter, then leaves.
Police and detectives arrive at the scene. They ask the waiter, "Who did this to you? What happened?"
The waiter replies, "A panda, eats, shoots, and leaves."
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
To fuck the chicken.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Once my cat was playing video games. I was OVERWATCHing him.
I asked him to PAWS the game. He then hissed at me. I was surprised; he usually has a good PURRsonality. He said he YARNED to play the game.
What do you call a pig who knows karate?
A pork chop.