Animal jokes
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.
One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What do gay horses eat?
Hayyyyy!
What do you call a donkey and a potato?
Assround
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
I got in a cage fight.
The hamster didn't know what hit him!
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
Why is an elephant big, grey, and hairy?
How do you catch an elephant?
Act like a peanut.
My friend’s neighbor’s house is a real pigsty. There are hogs everywhere wearing neck garments.
You can assume a horse is called a great jumper when the horse’s name is “Polo Neck”.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.