Animal jokes
What is bigger than an elephant but smaller than two elephants?
A different sized elephant.
Having sex in the woods and a deer walks up and fucks you from the back.
I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. đ Now theyâre searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.
I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like theyâre in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. Theyâre probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they arenât searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
How do lions đŚ like their steak?
"Roar!"
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Snow caps!
Q: What is a clownâs favorite fish?
A: The clownfish.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesnât matter; it wonât come anyway.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.