Animal jokes
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What is a monkey with a head?
One day there was a frantic call at the fire department:
"Help me, help me! There is a cat meowing nearby. It is going to hurt me, it's going to kill me, can you help me, and send the fire squad right away?"
"Take it easy, cats don’t hurt us, just relax and wait until he leaves."
"You don’t understand it is going to bite me, it is going to kill me, it is going to be fatal!"
"Cats aren’t venomous or in any other way dangerous, now who is calling?"
"I’m Indy's parrot you twit! Now help me! Please help, please help!"
Who is the king of the insects 🐜?
The Monarch!
What is mad cow disease?
Why can't the cheetah play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted.
How do bees go to school?
They go on a buzzzzzzzzzzz.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
RIP Harambe.
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
What do you call mouse sneakers? Squeakers!
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
What do you call a caterpillar that's sad?
A sad caterpillar.
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
How long was the owl trick or treating?
Owl night long!
What's a cow's favorite newspaper?
The Daily M0Os.
Oh my frickig god, cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account!