Animal jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she wrestled a polar bear and won.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.
Why did the baby cow cross the road?
To find its mom who has the milk.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
What is a fish without an eye?
A fsh, LOL!
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
What did the blind man say to his dog after eating dinner?
"Just ate a tasty steak!"
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”