Animal jokes
What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?
"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter; it won’t come anyway.
What did the fox say to the fire?
You look hot!
I tried to eat ass once. The donkeys got one hell of a kick!
What's a cow's strongest part of their body?
Their "calves"!
Dog: Woof!
Butcher: Say less.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
Why is it easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
Why is it easy to weigh fish?
Because they have their own scales! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Why did the chicken cross the road?
So it could get to the other side!
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What is the difference between a puppy and a fork?
I don’t microwave forks.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
What is a cow’s favorite newspaper?
The Daily Moos.
Why are cows such great dancers?
They have all the best moooves!
I jump off a cliff and said I hate you, dumb blond, and eagle...Then I said to my wife, "We're done, Blondie," and said to my friend, "You're a dumbhead eagle!"