Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
What do you feed a group of octopuses for dessert?
Octopie!
If chickens make chicken nuggies, does that mean dinosaur chickens make Dino nuggies?!?
CONSPIRACY!!!
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.