Animal jokes
What did the cat say when he got mad?
I'm hissed!
You are a fat pig.
You are so cat.
You are so blind, even a spider can see better than you.
You got a pig head!
Why did the chicken cross the rooooo o oooad?
A bird was on a branch at school today. I turn away to talk to my friends, and another bird was there when I turned around. I turn around again, and the birds are having fucking sex!!!
What the fuck.
Now I've seen everything.
Why are cheetahs not good at hiding?
They’re always spotted!
Why do cheetahs always get 100 on a test?
They’re cheetahs!
What do you call a bear with no ear?
B.
Rat
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight?
Do you think he saw us?
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Chicken.
Chicken who?
Are you chicken me????!!!!
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.
What happens if a boy bumps into a dog?
It’s a bumper team.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it only went halfway.