Animal jokes
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
What does a stray cat/dog have in common?
Both of them don't have a home!
Hansume cheetah e Cel Cheetos?
Why is an orphan and a dog friends?
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
Why does a cheetah cheat to always win?
What does a cheetah like to eat? Fast food, lol!
A girl said she liked dogs. I called her a bitch.
Does chocolate milk come from black cows?
"Meow, meow, woof, woof." That's what animals say to me when I die.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled egg.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
Rooster.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Why did the koala cross the road to get to the other gum tree?
What do you call a three humped camel?
Why did the ducky get arrested?
He got caught selling quack.
Why do duckies wipe after they poop?
Their butt quack.
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.