Animal jokes
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What animal should wear a wig?
A bald eagle!
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!