What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Animal Jokes
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish!
What's the difference between a chicken and a dog?
I don't know... I'm from China.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
What do you call an animal underground? A fossil.
What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Two cows are standing in a field.
Cow 1: Did you hear about the outbreak of mad cow disease?
Cow 2: Good thing I'm a helicopter.
My grandfather had the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why do cats like to sing? They're very mewsical!
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
