Animal jokes
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
I trained a wolf to meditate, so now she's aware-wolf.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?
Pant suits.
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
What do you call a bulldog and a shih tzu? A bullshit.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.