Animal jokes
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet? They only have 4.
What do you call a three humped camel?
A prostitute from New York.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
What animal should wear a wig? A bald eagle!
I was talking to a beaver about my life. I don't think he really gave a dam about it at all.
Damn, DIN just went over me and I'm trying to figure out what it is. A camel's dick.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me."
We never saw him again.
What do you call a short student?
A Ravin.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.