Animal jokes
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
What's black, white, and "read" all over?
A zebra after a lion is full.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the knucklehead's house...
Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Why did the bat fall out of the tree?
It couldn’t hang in there.
A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What did the cheetah tell the other cheetah when they had a test?
"Cheetah, cheetah!"
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lick-a-lotta-puss.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.