Animal jokes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
I want to die.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
A puma was making another puma laugh. That puma that was laughing said, “Stop making me laugh! I’m gonna puma pants!”
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!
What did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side. 😂😂😂
Why didn't the squirrel want to go swimming? Because he didn't want to get his nuts wet!
Ex-girlfriend: “I can smell fish.”
Ex-boyfriend: “I can smell sh*t.”
Ex-boyfriend: “Well, how many boys swam down there?”
Ex-girlfriend: “20!”
Fish: “Wasn’t me, I don’t swim around mistakes.”
People want to be nice to each other because they only have one life, and they want to live it well.
Sucks to be them. I'm a cat.
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
A: To find Pooh!
What do you call a fish that has a dick?
Moby Dickkkkk!
Why did the disabled chicken cross the road?
To get its wheelchair!
Why don't bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.