Animal jokes
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
What happened to the alligator when he held a GPS?
He became a navigator.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
Why don't we wrestle bears?
The pain is un-bearable.
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
When my dog starts to bark, he starts to get ruff.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
What do you call J Cow's new hit? Deja Moo!