What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Why do shepherds never learn to count?
Because if they did, they would always be falling asleep.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
