Animal jokes
What did the whale say?
Nothing!
It just wailed.
What do you call a dog wearing a beret?
Smeargle!
Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?
Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.
Guy 1: Don't you?
Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.
Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#
**Meow...**
Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
A seal walks into a club.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.