Animal jokes
I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
What do you call a bull sleeping?
A bull-dozer.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.
What did the dog say when he came home from a long shift at work? Today was ruff.
A seal walks into a club.
Knock knock. Who's there? Cows go. Cows go who? No silly, cows go moo!
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?
Dam.
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.