Animal jokes
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
What do you call a dinosaur that can’t eat?
Anarexic.
Why did the dog cross the road?
It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur?
A Doyoulickalotapuss.
Bob the Golden Retriever and Lily the Husky were talking at Bob's house.
Lily: Bob, do you think I'm fat?
Bob: No, Lily, of course not! You're just a little husky!!!! Lol. Golden Retrievers are funny.
Why did the octopus cross the road?
To get to the other TIDE!!! 🤣🐙🐙
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
God: ok, what if I made an evil land octopus that could walk on walls?
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
[god creating alligators]
God: See that log?
Angel: Yes...?
God: Now fill it with teeth.
Angel: Say again?
God: FILL IT WITH TEETH!
Why do cheetahs have spots?
Chickenpox!
Me: So you two girls are from England?
Girls: Wales.
Me: Oh, I see, so you two whales are from England.
Why aren't dogs good at dancing? Cuz they have 2 left feet!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were prime mates.