Animal

Animal jokes

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

Why do animals cross the road?

Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"

Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in a place worse than a zoo.

Back in my day, the chicken dance was where the hen got raped by an angry pack of roosters.