Animal jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?
What did the shell say to the shell?
"Shell you later."
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day.
It was impossible to put down.