Animal

Animal Jokes

Llama

What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?

"Alpaca my bags."

Cat

How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.

Cow

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Pig

What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?

This is a pig problem!

Dog

What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.

Dog

How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.

Pig

Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?

He would take him to a "pignic."

Wood

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Autism

What do birds and autistic people have in common?

They both flap their arms.