What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What do you call a teddy bear that fooled you?
Stuffed.
What God do rats worship?
Cheesus.
What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?
This is a pig problem!
I had asked my dog what 2 - 2 is...
She said nothing.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.
What do birds and autistic people have in common?
They both flap their arms.