Animal jokes
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."
I just watched a documentary about beavers.
It was the best dam show I ever saw!
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”
I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉
Fam, you weaker than a polar bear!
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
What do sharks and humans have alike? The great white one.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
Yesterday, I was on a reality TV show where they locked me up with all those smelly monkeys from the Leger Zoo. It was complete madness.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?
What's a cheetah's favorite food?
Fast food!
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
I have a rooster farm because I love small cocks.
Fat chicks be like, "Am I fox pretty, bunny pretty, cat pretty, or deer pretty?" Like none, bitch, you elephant pretty. 😭😭😭
Why did the rooster go to the train station to get the pizza?