Animal jokes
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.