Animal jokes
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"