Animal jokes
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What's a Mexican's favorite insect? A grasshopper.
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
The Flanders Song
God said to Noah, "There’s gonna be a floody-floody."
Rain came down, it started to get muddy-muddy.
Get these animals👏out of the arky-arky."
"Leave me alone!"
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
Why did the fish go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling “eel.”
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? (Dam!)
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
Octopus, more like octopussy.
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew 50 bucks in there."
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you."