Animal jokes
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
What is a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hisssssstory.
Being a mom to a teenager will make you understand why some animals eat their young.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to the scale, it said, "No elephants allowed!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
What's a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
What kind of bug can tell time? A clock-roach.
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it's a sourpuss.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
How can you tell if a pig is hot? It's bacon.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A sturgeon!
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
What bee can't fly?
Koby.