Animal jokes
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
When a cat gets a sibling, do they say, "Oh, shit! Another mew kid?!?!?!"
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side and see his friend...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.
Tigger was playing hide & seek, so he looked in the toilet, but all he found was Pooh.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Donibobes is an owl. (hehe look up donibobes YT!)
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon!