Animal jokes
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
Why is the cheetah so bad at hide-n-seek? Because every time she hides, she will always [be] spotted.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Why did the cow cross the road?
Because the chicken was on vacation.
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
What card is the slowest and slimiest?
Ace-nail.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
A dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
You know a piranha can devour a small child in 30 seconds. Anyway, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
Why are frogs good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud 😂
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To wipe the chicken's ass!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Bald Eagle.
Why do my kids die?
Stinky Oussy :D
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.