Animal jokes
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Beach whales.
One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.
The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
So it didn't get its nuts wet.
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call a cow that's on the ground? Ground beef.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
'Cause it got knocked down on its way.
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
My asian neighbors dinner.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What's the difference between a frog and a skyscraper? The frog can jump. Hahahahaha!
What kind of milk does a new age calf drink?
Dairy free.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
What kind of cow has 2 legs?
YOUR MOM!!