Ani jokes

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

I'd like to have kids one day.

I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

"Why couldn’t the DJ keep any of the fish he caught?

He kept dropping the bass."

If a tree could be any animal, what would it be?

Answer: A dog because of its bark lol. 😀

Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."

Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."

Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

Anyone got any new jokes? I ran through all the pages already.

A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.

The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.

The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”

Good Lord, any tips on how to kidnap children? I say, "Free candy," and they run.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.

Any 8 year old: Sus!

Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!

Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!

Doctor, what is wrong with me?

You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

I went out to buy some camouflage shirts the other day. Couldn't find any.

What happens when you have dry elbows at work?

You don't have any elbow grease to put into it.